"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
-Corrie Ten Boom
Our society is obsessed with relationships.
Look around.
Every day someone else is posting an article telling you:
What to look for in a spouse.
What not to look for in a spouse.
How to snag the man or woman of your dreams.
How to be content with where you are.
How to find "the one."
How to be "the one."
How there will never be "the one" but rather, "a one."
How technology is killing relationships.
Can guys and girls really be friends?
And the list goes on and on. I admit, I read them. I share them, and yes, I realize I'm writing yet another blog about relationships. I quote them and say to myself that they're right. I should be content with where I'm at. I shouldn't be looking for that magical one, I should just look for any guy that loves God and will love me. I should play hard to get and not live out relationships through texting. I should be content being friends with guys and not be on the lookout for more.
I can read all these, and yet do I see those truths rooted in my life?
It's the season of engagements and marriages for me. Senior year in college. Friends who have been dating throughout are now taking the next step. At lease once a month I look online and see a new relationship update, a new engagement picture with the ring sparkling and huge smiles on my friends faces. And it truly makes me happy. They've found their forever, and they're ready to begin the next chapter in their lives.
But what does that mean for all single ladies? (cue the Beyonce music...)
Does it mean I'm not ready for the next chapter because I'm alone? How could I possibly make it after school without having a guy there to support me? Have I done something wrong that I haven't found the guy of my dreams? Society tells me that I'm behind. If I don't find the guy in college, good luck finding him at all. If I don't make myself available, no guy will ever come after me. The ultimate goal in life is to find your mate and unless you do that, you'll live the rest of your life discontent and half-alive.
I say what a ton of crap to all that. What is society to tell me that I am only half a person if I never find the one I'm "destined" to be with? Where does it say that you'll have arrived at some level of excellence only when you find your soulmate? Maybe God didn't design us all to be in a physical relationship. (Gasp!) He did, however, design us all to be in the best relationship of all. My relationships with God should be enough to satisfy me. That's the relationship that makes me whole. It really comes to down, am I content with simply falling more in love with him and being okay with being single?
I got asked, after my second friend got engaged in a short span of time, "how did I feel? Single?" My response? Yes. I feel single. But I know I'm okay with that. It's funny, before when I saw friends getting engaged I immediately felt that pang of jealousy. Of longing for that to be me one day. I don't deny that in each girl there's always going to be that feeling whenever someone else finds their guy, to wish it was finally their turn. But since really digging into the truth that God can and will be all I need in relationships, that feeling has slowly gone away. It's freeing to see friends and be happy for them- not in a jealous way but in a truly joyful way. Why did I rush around after those engagements, surveying every guy close to me in order to see if they had the potential to be in my future? I've learned to take a step back. I have confidence that God knows what he's doing. He knows the desires of my heart. He has the ultimate plan. And I have full assurance that all the good guys aren't gone. Someday maybe I'll have my someday. Or maybe I'll spend the rest of my life just loving God and my golden retriever (cause lets face it, I'm gonna get one as soon as I possibly can). Either way, I'm okay with that.
It seems like it's all us single people talk about now. How "content" we are with being single.
Well, I'm tired of talking. This is my statement on being single. I don't want to dwell on guys or relationships as if that's the end-all-be-all of college. I don't want to dwell on the fact that I'm alone, because in all reality, I'm not. I have amazing friends, an amazing family, and an amazing God. If a guy is going to get me? He's going to have to step up, pursue and initiate. Until that happens, I'm going to keep living day to day in the full joy of knowing that I have already found the place where my heart can rest: in the loving hands of Christ.
So keep on reading the how to's and what not to do's and whatever. They've helped me gain perspective, and to see that I can be joyful for others while not feeling like the clock is ticking away.
But don't dwell, ladies.
You're worth too much to be stuck on this idea that your significance can, and will, only be found in guys and a relationship.
Stop talking about it.
Seek the peace of God, the knowledge of your significance and the beauty of being single. There's so much for us to do in this time of our lives! Instead of looking forward, it's time to be happy with where we are. So until it's time for my story to turn into any sort of love story, I will keep on in the direction God has planned, looking only to him and not forward to a man.
Until next time!
Jackie
