He is Risen Indeed

"And they remembered his words,

and returning from the tomb they

 told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest. 

Now it was Mary Magdalene and Joanna 

and Mary the mother of James

and the other women with them who 

told these things to the apostles,

but these words seemed to them an idle tale,

and they did not believe them.

But Peter rose and ran to the tomb;

stooping and looking in,

he saw the linen cloths by themselves;

and he went home marveling at what had happened."

- Luke 24:8-12

He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed. 

I love Easter time and the promise of new beginnings it brings. We start by remembering the powerful image that we have of a savior who by no means had to suffer but chose to suffer in our place on the cross, not out of obligation or duty but because of his overwhelming, unthinkable love for us. Love that should bring us to our knees at the thought of it. Then we turn to the hope and the joy as we remember that the grave could not hold Jesus. Death had not won, and grace had overcome. It's also the start of a new season, Spring, with that the promise that life can be beautiful and vibrant again.  

As I was reading the Easter story, of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, I kept getting stuck on these verses. As I read them over and I over, I realized that there are two different reactions to Jesus and his promises. 

I'll admit, I'm probably one of the worst at preaching truth and grace to myself.  I'm my toughest critic and so often I try to do it on my own for so long that I fail to remember what God said for me to do in the beginning. I get caught up in doing things my own way, and I get so far down a road of self-sufficiency, when God's truth confronts my life, I tend to write it off or downplay the importance of his words.

In this passage, the women who went to check on Jesus' body remembered the promise he made to them that he would rise on the third day, and went home, in awe and joy, to tell the others. But we see two very different reactions to the news, reactions that I think we still have on a day-to-day basis when we remember God's words.

1.) There were those who chose not to believe what God said. They brushed his words and promises off as "idle tales."

 Just like those disciples, we too tend to remember God's promises, and brush them off as idle tales when he doesn't seem to be fulfilling the promises for our life how we think he should be. Does God really know the plans for my life- plans to prosper me and give me a hope and a future, when I'm 24, single, and not where I think I should be? When I doubt the promises of God, I can easily slip into a pity party of epic proportions and try to make things happen on my own, not believing that what God promised, he will do.

OR 

2.) Peter chose to run to God's promises and marvel at what he had seen. 

I so desperately want to have a Peter response - to run to the "tomb" to see what God has done. To trust that his promises and his plan will come to fruition, and will happen in the best way possible. Sometimes it's hard to see how it all will turn out, and that's when we must turn back to scriptures and his promises to us. Does God really know the plans for my life? I can run away from the truth of this, or embrace the truth like Peter, marvel at all God has accomplished in my life already, and eagerly await what's to come. 

I must rest in the assurance that Chris came to bring hope, and my hope is not in the things I have or want, but in the one who can gave them to me. May we all have a Peter response this Easter. That when we remember the promises that God has made to us, we run that much faster towards him. That we marvel at all he's done, and thank him in advance for all he will do- however that will happen.

Until next time,

Jackie

Whole30 (Days of Torture)

"What could be more important than a little something to eat?"

- Winnie the Pooh

So today is my first day back to eating "regular food" post Whole30.

If you don't know what Whole30 is, you,
 a.) don't check social media because at least 5 of your friends are doing it at this moment
or
b.) think it has nothing to do with food and everything to do with yoga or some other hippie thing.

To say it was a tough 30 days would be a correct statement. I have little to no self-control when it comes to foods that include chocolate, sugar, bread, and ice cream, which basically sums up everything you can't have.

Whole30 (for those of you who don't know yet) is 30 days of "clean eating." Basically it means no beans, sugar, gluten, dairy, or anything closely resembling the diet I consisted of prior to the 30 days. You have eggs, fruit, meat, veggies, and potatoes on the reg, and get used to tricking yourself into believing that the fruit is actually a chocolate bar (it doesn't work).

Why did I start on such an adventure? Well, I kept seeing people post about it, and I thought to myself, well, maybe I should get the cookbook and see if I even like eating the stuff and maybe in the far future I'll do it! Fast forward to getting the cookbook and my roommate saying "I'll do it with you if you want!"

Seeing as I bought the book? I couldn't really say no.

So, there we were. Our fridge was the epitome of health. Chicken coming out our ears, and veggies to spare. I attempted to keep a food journal of my thoughts on Whole30 each day, but quickly failed after day 5 when the only thought was "why am I doing this?"

About halfway through, though, I discovered something. As I began to feel better, have more energy, sleep better each night, and generally have overall health improvement (I wasn't sick ONCE during Whole30 which is quite the feat if you know me), I began to notice something.

Now that I couldn't have any of the foods I was used to, I began to want all the foods I could see. I would see people post pictures of pints of ice cream, their favorite candy bars, or "insert food here" because their day had been like such and such, and even though it made me want that food, it also started to make me wonder.

Food is meant to be a gathering of people. You eat with others (for the most part). It's a social event, and it's something a lot of us, myself included have many memories associated with food or sitting around a table with loved ones. My comfort food- the dish my mom makes when it's cold, or the day has been rough- will always being me back to my childhood and the feeling of security and safety associated with that food. The problem comes not when we enjoy eating good food with family and friends, but when we rely on food to make us feel better.

I don't know how many times I've said "gah, I just need some chocolate to get me through today!" or "I just need some Diet Coke to keep me awake to get me to 5pm." It's just not true though. This lie I've fed (food pun!) myself is that food will make whatever crappy or stressful thing is going on, better. But it won't. I end up feeling sick and actually worse about myself after eating that dozen glazed donut holes.

The truth? Only God can fill that place that we try to throw food, or any other activity, at. I don't need to rely on food for a pick me up, I need God to step in and remind me that I am loved, unique, or whatever else I need to hear in the moment I turn to food for comfort. It's time to stop our dependency on food (good or bad) to make us "feel better." Accepting yourself, your circumstances, and trusting in a God who is bigger than my craving for Oreos the last 30 days, is better than any promise food, or other activity can make. Even eating well won't make me a happier person. Sure I may feel better, I may lose some weight, but ultimately if I'm looking at food to satisfy me or to make me into a better person, I will never find peace.

Maybe that's too deep since it's just food, but it's something I've really noticed during the last 30 days. Will I never eat another cookie in my life though now that I've done it and feel so much better? No. Bring on all the Oreos. Just kidding, but I do believe that moderation is key, and ultimately recognizing that my struggle with turning to food for comfort is not because I need it, it's because I'm looking for it to bring me comfort that only God can bring to my life.

On that note, I'd encourage everyone to do a Whole30-type thing, get your mind right when it comes to food, and experience what it feels like to watch everyone else eat cake and realize you can't have it too. ;)

Until next time,

Jackie