"What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness."
-John Steinbeck
While this quote is highly appropriate given that the past 2 weeks we've had varying levels of snow and ice fall here in Little Rock and it's 18 degrees today, it's also appropriate for other reasons.
It's been awhile (and I mean, 2 months awhile) since I've last written. I just know everyone has wondered where I've been, so let me catch you up really quickly. I've moved out of my parents house into my own apartment! I love it, but I hardly spend time there. Since the beginning of the new year, I've been to Dallas twice to visit Erin, moved in at the end of January, gone to Pittsburgh for a mini vacation to visit four of my study abroad roommates (one of the best weekends of my year so far), am about to run in my 3rd half marathon Sunday, have been sick twice, and spend most of my days running around with friends and visiting ZuZu (and my parents). I'm now the only full-time employee on the SOS account at CJRW, so there's been lots of fun challenges with learning how to do two jobs while the hiring process takes place and manage my day to day responsibilities as well.
To say I've been overwhelmed would be an understatement, but that's been my winter cold, I suppose, and will make the summer warmth that much sweeter!
I feel like most of my blog posts are pretty depressing. I tend to write when I'm in a place where God is really molding me and teaching me things I often don't want to hear or know. This is pretty much that place again, so bear with me. I'm actually doing well- totally feeling like I'm settling into life in Little Rock and am enjoying leading a seventh-grade bible study with my friends Mariah, and am about to start coaching a little girl's Upwards soccer team with my friend Betsy! I've also joined a Core group of women around my age at church, and even though I've only been once, am really excited about doing life with those women. So, life is good overall, God is always blessing me and when I stop and think of the things going "right" in my life it's overwhelming to think I don't deserve it, but he gives it anyway!
In an effort to not ramble, I'm going to share with you a brief bit of what God is teaching me now. I'm going through Beth Moore's bible study, A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place and it's simply wonderful. Every time I sit down to dig into it, I leave feeling refreshed and like she was writing it right for me and where I'm at. The latest lesson was about when Moses went up to be with the Lord and was given the Ten Commandments for the first time, and the Israelites responded by having Aaron make them a golden calf to worship since it seemed like Moses was never coming back. The lesson talked about how Satan turns those things God has created into things we worship as our gods, and how we let him do that.
In the previous lesson, she talked about how God has "established, anointed and sealed us for our callings."
First of all, how COOL God has picked something out just for us to do in life! I love that God is a God of uniqueness and one who cares about us individually.
Second, put those together. God has a plan and a purpose he has called us to, has established, anointed, and sealed us for that calling, so we should be faithful in following. But that calling, that which has has planned for us, should not become our source of hope and worship.
I worry a lot about what my life is going to look like in the future. Like if I don't get this now, or do this now, I won't be where I think I should be in the future. Slowly my focus and my life turn into making sure I'm doing all I can to make my "calling" or "ideal future" happen. Yet, the bible says that God has established me, anointed me, and sealed me for the calling he has for my life. I no longer have to be concerned about making it happen because God has called me to it and will be faithful to complete that. We cannot help our own situation.
"Nor is he [God] served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." - Act 17:25
He is God, and I am not. I cannot help where I'm at, I can only rest in where God has me. Whether that's my job, my physical location, my friends, my relationships with guys, whatever. No matter what I try, God continues to tell me that I will not succeed on my own, but with him, he will give me all I need. My friend Ashley told me today that "creating a purpose for where you are now is just as important" as looking forward to "what's next." She was saying that where I am now has meaning and I should focus on serving the Lord, and not serving my own ambitions or ideals. My "calling" isn't just something in the future, it's where I'm at now.
"Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!" - Psalm 100:2
How often it seems like I am the Israelites. I worship God when it appears he's there, and then as soon as things don't go my way, or "Moses" has disappeared, I turn to something else to worship. I don't worship the Lord consistently, and I certainly don't always worship the Lord with gladness. I am called to a heavenly standard though, and that means that no matter what I feel, or what I think should be, I am called to live life on purpose for God, and through it all to gladly worship him. I don't need that which Satan tricks me into believing is worth worshipping. I need, and ultimately crave, the God who made all things. The Creator of the created. This is why when I turn and try to worship the created thing, that which I have built up in my mind as the "ultimate," it leaves me feeling empty and unsatisfied.
In a time where all I want to do is run after my future calling on my own and make my own way, God is calling me back to him, to his truth, and to my present situation.
"With us in the wilderness, faithful to provide. Every breath and every step we see, this is God in his holy place, this is God clothed in love and strength. Sing out, lift your voice and cry out, awesome is our strong God, mighty is our God." - Strong God // Vertical Church Band
God is mighty. He is strong. He has established us. He has anointed us. He has sealed us. Why should I ever follow another?
Until next time,
Jackie
