"And every step, every breath you are there. Every tear, every cry, every prayer. In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down. Not for a moment will You forsake me. Even in the dark, even when it's hard, You will never leave me. After all."
-Meredith Andrews
Do you ever listen to music and not really listen to the words? That's usually me. Or I'll sing along and not pay attention to what I'm actually singing. My mom's favorite question to ask when I'm in the car with her is, "do you know what this song is actually about?" Most of the time I do, and am quick to respond. Sometimes, I don't and I don't hesitate to tell her that I don't and could care less if I do.
When I do my devotional I like to listen to worship music in the background because silence weirds me out and it always seems a little inappropriate to listen to country or pop music while reading the word of God. But maybe that's just me...
Anyway. These past weeks have sucked. I've cried at my desk. Cried in the car. Cried at my parents house. Cried while journaling... basically I'm more in touch with my emotions than I've been in a long time. Yay for feelings! But my devotional today was great perspective. As I'm reading about the Tabernacle and how the whole sacrifice system works, Beth Moore points out that when you sacrificed an animal, you had one hand on its head, while killing it with the other hand. Brutal. Her comment was: "Acceptance is always based on atonement." Without something taking the punishment for us, we will never be accepted or acceptable to Christ.
Phew.
Let that sink in. Without the death of an innocent animal, at each man's own hands, there was no acceptance in God's sight. Our sin is too great, and our attempts at righteousness too feeble to atone for our own sin. Jesus' death was the ultimate atonement. The final piece of God's plan for bringing each of us close to him.
Do you sit with the weight of the cost of Jesus dying on the cross?
I don't mean a "Oh LORD, thank you for sending your son to die on the cross," way. I mean in a "How would you feel to see your only son die for a bunch of people who don't appreciate it," way.
Sacrifice isn't truly a sacrifice unless it costs you something. Are the things that are going on in your life that you're "sacrificing" for, costing you anything? Do you take pride in the areas of your life that are hard, yet fail to look and see how much you have to be thankful for? I certainly do. I fail at perspective too often in life. It's a kick in the stomach to think that I brush off Christ's death as a small act, something that's on par with my daily "sufferings," when it was the biggest sacrifice in history.
While all this was going on, the song Not For A Moment by Meredith Andrews came on and brought me to tears (I know- totally not a surprise there). The refrain of the song is simply, "Not for a moment, will you forsake me." I think to when Jesus is hanging on the cross and says, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" right before he "yielded up his spirit." (Matthew 27:46, 50) In his darkest moment, during his hour of greatest sacrifice, he cries about about God forsaking him. And yet, here I sit, hardly in my darkest hour but still dark nonetheless, and Christ gently whispers, "Not for a moment will I forsake you."
Take a listen to this song and let that promise sit in your heart and bring joy to you spirit. Through sacrifice and trial, through the dirtiness and mess of life, Christ, because of his ultimate sacrifice, will never leave us or forsake us. After all. Not for a moment.
Until next time,
Jackie
