Wrecked Life

So my life has pretty much been wrecked in a good way this past week and especially today. We heard from Hudson Smith on the Traveling Team today after a convicting talk by Tim Casteel about God's Will. Then we heard about God's heart for the Nations and about how everything in the bible points to God's desire that all the world should praise him. Then we had an overview of the history of missions- mind blown. The stories of one person impacting another, who impacted another, and so on was amazing to see and to think that it all started on a college campus with students like us. What am I waiting for? God calls us to take his word out into all the world, and as one missionary said, what good reason do I have to NOT go?

I'm wrestling with a lot of things- am I doing the right thing by studying abroad? Should I come back as an RA for my Senior year? Should I plan on coming back as student staff next summer? Should I try and Stint after I graduate? Where would I Stint? God totally broke my heart for people in other countries and has opened my eyes to the enormous need that is out there and isn't being met. I have the ability to go and to preach his word to people, yet I am content to sit here? I don't think so. I don't want to stay around and just chill because that's what's "normal" and college students aren't "supposed" to be radical. I want to abandon myself to God. In the presence of all my readers, I'm making the statement that I don't want to be normal anymore. I don't want to be safe, I want to go somewhere and do something that will impact more than myself. I'll start with my campus and move on to somewhere that God wants. I'll follow his sovereign plan. Not wait for magic writing in the sky but take steps of faith- constantly moving forward in his word and in prayer. This is me saying that I don't have any idea what God has for me- but I'm ok with taking it a step at a time. Lately China has been a semi-present part of my life (I was China for the international dinner, and it seems like the majority of things I hear are about East Asia), what that means I don't know. It terrifies me more than going to any other country to think about going there but if that's where I eventually end up, or if I never do, I will go where I am told. This project has been amazing. I haven't ever come to this point of being so completely broken and feeling such a burden for people other than myself. Realizing the weight of my sin and the weight of what Christ did on the cross and knowing that there are those around me who need to hear it- even Christians who need to be loved as Christ loves them through me- has really gotten me thinking these past few days. It's amazing how you can live your whole life and then realize that the work you've accomplished so far, is only a small portion of the plan God has for your life. I don't want to have wasted my life in things that aren't eternal. I want to be like C.T. Studd, give up everything, and go. No matter if that's the workplace, China, Europe, or wherever- as long as God is leading I'll be ok.

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” -Isaiah 6:8

Contrary to Popular Belief...

Contrary to popular belief I actually do things on project other than relax... my mom said from my pictures it looks like I sit on the beach all the time- which is not true. :) Here's a little run down of our week and I'll fill you in on the latest happenings.

Sunday: Church with out ministry teams, a ministry team meeting, then project dinner and run down for the week.

Monday: My day on the campus of SDSU doing evangelism and then DNA group for the rest of the time- return around 4. Women's NORE (Night of Reflection) and Men's time are Monday nights, which goes to about 9.

Tuesday: Workday/volunteer day for those who visit campus Monday, and the rest of the people go to campus today. (My job has kind of fallen through- he said he doesn't need me yet so I'll be sitting around, possibly going to campus a lot more or finding a volunteer job until I get put on the schedule.) Usually we have something to do on Tuesday nights- this Tuesday after we do a job/volunteer check in thing, my DNA group is being taken out to a Padres/Rangers game!! I'm so excited.

Wednesday: Work day, and project meetings/activity Wednesday nights.

Thursday: Work day, Women's time and Men's NORE at night.

Friday: Work day, FNL and afters (usually last until 12 or later)

Saturday: All day workday/ free time if you have the day off.

And repeat! Lots of meetings, but really great fun things to do pretty much every night. This week we have the Men's retreat and then when they get back we leave for the Women's retreat. I'm really excited to go and think it'll be refreshing to leave and be together just girls in some pretty rustic cabins so I've heard. Maybe I'll have my first experience peeing in the woods- won't that be exciting!

This past weekend was amazing- I went to a surf competition and concert put on by Switchfoot on Saturday- such a cool opportunity to have being here in SoCal. I'm so blessed that I can be here and get to experience stuff like that. That night we had a movie night in our condo and Lauren, Jenny and I went to Yogurt Land and just got to talk and laugh- I appreciate their friendship and am so blessed with friends like them here with me.  The night before, we had a dance party after FNL and went swimming in the ocean and then went to iHop till 2 in the morning which was so great! (Not for how tired I was, but great company!) Sunday we went to Qualqomm Stadium where we saw Tim Tebow talk on Father's Day- all he had to say was good! It all pointed back to Christ and you could tell how humble and sincere he was. Definitely a great opportunity.

As I said before, my job has semi fallen through- he said he didn't need us (me and the other girl who work at Cafe Mono) until it gets busier. So be praying it gets really busy really soon. I'm learning to trust God to provide though and it's definitely a growing experience. I'm excited for what this week has to offer and I'm going to take every spare moment I have just sitting in the condo to really try and dig deeper into God and use my time wisely. Thanks for all your prayers and all your support. I found out I'm fully funded as of this past week so I'm incredibly blessed to be getting back some money from my travel and grocery expenses- huge praise considering my job situation. Alright. I'm gonna do some Jillian Michaels!
Till next time,
Jacks

Week two

Almost done with my second week on project! Time is flying by already. I can't believe all the stuff I've gotten to do and will get to do: lay out on the beach, longboard, visit a sketchy part of town to go to Walmart, ride the bus all over the city, and make tons of memories.

The job hunt continues- ish. So, as I was planning on sitting down to write this post, I hadn't heard back from anyone about even an interview. As I walk into the coffee shop I applied at (Cafe Mono) which I hadn't heard back from yet, I just ordered my Chai Latte and let it be. Little did I know, the owner was siting at a table and after I put my stuff down, he says, "Are you Jackie?" And I said, "Yeah, hi!" and he says "So I talked to Carlee (another girl on project who applied here) and she's starting on Tuesday, so I guess come in on Monday and we'll see what day I can get you in to train. The sooner the better so I can just set you all loose." I'm sure I looked so dumb, with my mouth open and like this super relieved and expression of unbelief on my face. So, looks like, I GOT A JOB! It feels almost unreal- seeing as it was super casual the way we set up me even coming in to figure when to come to train, but I think it's real. Whoop!

God is faithful. Even if it ends up me not working here, at least my perseverance paid off. I came in 3 times in one day just to talk to the owner. Dedication man. I'm praising him that after 7 days of constant followups and applications, I have a job. :) It's right down the street from where we're staying and perfect. ok. Moving on.

This week we had our first Night of Reflection where we spent a few hours alone with God. It was great to just sit back, and meditate on all that's been going on and just been happening with life. This week we've also had the opportunity to have women's time, a night of MPD (ministry partnership development), FNL (Friday night live), Fugitive (cops and robbers basically), and our first day on Campus!

I went to SDSU, San Diego State University (GORGEOUS campus- which is also HUGE), and had a conversation unlike any I'd ever had. My DNA group leader Marian and I went out and did Soularium cards with two sisters first, which went well but was pretty short. Then we ate lunch and went out again. We ran into a guy who we ended up talking to for an hour and a half. He was from Saudi Arabia, has been here for 3 years, and missed his family a lot. He was raised in a Muslim house, but had fallen away from his faith. We did Soularium with him, switched to the KGP (Knowing God Personally book), and then we just sat and answered question after question he had. By the end, my brain hurt from trying to come up with answers and everything but I really feel like the Holy Spirit spoke in great ways through me and Marian. Even when I had no idea what to say, God came through and told me exactly what to say. It was definitely interesting and challenging. I can't wait to go back out next Monday.

I'm so tired, but so full of faith and love right now. God is so good, and even in my doubt and my frustration he still comes through. He continually shows me that he can do what I don't expect him to do through my doubt. God is good all the time.

Till I write again,
Jacks

P.S. Here's some of the girls in my condo. Who I LOVE. :) So blessed to have them in my life.

Let's go to the Beach

"Let's go to the beach, beach, let's go get away!"

Nicki Minaj says it so well. Lets go to the beach. Cause that's where I am! In sunny San Diego! It's day three and I can't believe I get to spend the next ten weeks here. It's semi surreal being able to say that I get to spend more than just a short vacation here. So nice. 

We arrived Tuesday afternoon after a slight flight delay in Phoenix to clear blue skies and beautiful ocean water. The past few days have been a blur of orientation, meeting my DNA group (small group) and already jumping in with them. The past few days we've been job hunting- I'm currently sitting in Starbucks having completed my job application for here, waiting to go visit another place soon in order to get an application. I feel like competition is stiff here and I'm just hoping and praying I get a job interview within the next few days. I know God will provide, it's just a challenge to accept that right now as it seems semi hopeless. 

The girls in my group are precious- Jen, Tressa and Lauren and our leader Marian. We sat on the beach and poured our hearts out to each other for three hours a few days ago, and I have the sunburn to prove it. It's been fun discovering all the places I can get burned, as it seems every day I figure out where I missed my sunblock. Today is nice and cloudy though so I'm hoping it'll give me some time to not be so red... that'd be golden. But anyway, They're great and I can't wait to get to know them more and more and the weeks go on. 

I live in a condo with 16 girls and 2 bathrooms. needless to say, it's been an interesting transition into trying to find my own space and to find time to get ready with that many people in and out of the bathrooms... but, God is teaching me patience, which is never a fun lesson to learn but so vital. He's already been working in my life, teaching me to have confidence and how to hold my tongue when i disagree with someone because honestly, I don't always have to be right. It's a new thing I've been discovering so that's been nice. I'm on my way to a changed person already!!

I don't have internet at my condo yet, I believe we will be soon, so I don't know how often updates will come, but I will definitely try to keep everyone posted!! :) Tonight is the first Friday Night Live outreach, which will be so FUN! I can't wait, and I'm really hoping the people we were able to talk to on the beach yesterday will come- some awesome stories came from that from various groups that went out so I'm super pumped to see all else God will do! Be praying that tonight goes smoothly and the people who said they wanted to come will actually do it! Will step out in faith and see what He has in store for them. 

I've been meeting so many new people, there's over 100 of us on project so it's been almost like being in the dorm as an RA all over again. I recognize faces but not names yet. It'll come. :) We'll soon all be best friends I'm sure. Anyway. Continue to pray for my job hunt- that God will provide in a big way with something that will challenge me and provide me with a good opportunity to connect to people in the community and also to earn some money as I still am about 200 dollars short of my base support goal. Thanks so much for your prayers already and for those you will continue to pray. I appreciate you all and just the love you share with me. :) Well, Tressa is almost done with her application so I'm going to sign off!

Till I write again,

Jacks

Thought of the Week: Apparently you look like a tourist in San Diego if you're dressed too "conservatively." Looks like we'll be tourists the whole time we're here then! ;)