Post-Grad life

"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."

-Ernest Hemingway

Here it is. All I've been waiting for. Post-grad life. Is it as exciting as I hoped? Not in the least. Has it been great? More tan I could've hoped for. 

If you know me, you know Little Rock was the last place I wanted to end up. "Please Lord, anywhere but home," I begged. I applied, I searched, and the Lord provided an internship. In Little Rock. Cue disappointing music. I packed my bags with a heavy heart in Fayetteville, knowing my life was about to change forever and not liking the forecast. All I knew was that God works in mysterious ways because he knew I needed a place to stay for free while also earning money, and he totally provided that. I was just too stubborn to notice it at fist. Instead I wanted to wallow. I wanted to feel sorry for the non-adventure that was about to become my life. 

How things have changed in just three short weeks. I wouldn't say I'm pumped to be in Little Rock but let's just say I'm starting to see the benefit of things working out way different than you think. God's kind of awesome like that. The first Tuesday I came home I went with Mariah to a 501 D-group through the singles/young adults ministry at my church. (I surprised myself by going since I've been staunchly against those sorts of things in the past...) I left though, having thoroughly enjoyed myself. We've gone back and have even met some friends through it all and I sit and shake my head because I actually look forward to Tuesday nights. Thankfully, God changes stubborn hearts. 

I think through my first three weeks post-grad and the thing that has stuck out to me most is that God has a plan. I've always known that, and believed that yes, God has some plan for my life, but I've always thought about it in vague terms, some "plan" that would come to be and I'd just go along with it. But I've started to see that no, this is a concrete, things happen for a reason, God is in control, plan. I may never know what the next step is before I take it, but there will always be a next step. I love the quote by Ernest Hemingway. It's not going to be the goals in life that mean the most, it's the steps on the journey to those goals or plans that matter. God is so faithful to bring in just what I need and to show my prideful self what it looks like to be humbled and in awe of God's provision. Since being home there hasn't been a day I've thought I'm in the wrong place. This may not have been my plan, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be right now, for this season. This is a journey I'm on. It's not a sprint to see what's at the end, but a marathon, filled with blessing and trials along the way that will ultimately make the end that much sweeter. I praise the Lord that he has the patience to take me on this journey. Lord knows I would've given up on myself a long time ago. 

I started reading the book Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper (highly recommend it for everyone!) and it's already been blowing my mind with how applicable it is. I was reading this chapter of what it means when Paul says "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me." I have died. This is confusing, but go with me. When I accepted Christ into my heart, I died to this world, to my own plans and to anything else I could want to live for. But my death wasn't the end. No, Christ came and is in me. How crazy, that God would not only be so gracious as to die for me and with me, but also came to give me life beyond what I could've deserved or imagined. I no longer want my life to scream "Me, me, me!" I want my life to scream Jesus. Why have I not truly embraced my life with Christ? Am I so selfish as to accept the gift of Christ's death, but think I am above his life? Why have I kept him from coming in fully to change my heart and my life?  I want to look like Christ to others. That it no longer be me who lives, but only Christ in me. That he will direct my journey and accomplish his end, which is the only thing that matters anyway, and the only thing that is ultimately worth anything. If I had Christ's life in me, I would value so much more the places I am privileged to be and the people I am privileged to know. That means Little Rock, right here, right now. I wouldn't worry about the next step or accomplishing my dreams, because to live is Christ, and no matter where my journey takes me, that's all that matters. It's such a shift in thinking for me to embrace that no matter what, this is the life I'm given and I must embrace that it's all for Christ, not for myself. My dreams must become his dreams and in the end, that's all I could ever want.

All that to say, I'm so very lucky to be on this journey. To open my eyes to see the gifts all around me, and to experience the joy that only Christ can give. These first couple weeks in Little Rock could've been very different. I'm just thankful for a God who humbles and blesses me despite my selfishness and pride!

Until next time,

Jackie

Caps and Gowns

"You're off to great places, today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way!"

- Dr. Seuss

While I don't think Dr. Seuss sets the standard for inspirational quotes, I think it's only appropriate to use his quote in regards to graduating college. After all, my education was started off reading books like Hop on Pop and ABC's. I owe a lot to Dr. Seuss. 

I'm sitting at my desk DONE with finals forever (or until a few years down the road when I forget how horrible tests were and decide to subject myself to grad school). I picked up my honors distinction today and I can't believe I made it this far! Not gonna lie, when I chose the U of A, I kind of thought it'd be an easier four years than if I went to say, Stanford. But after making it through, I'm not entirely convinced state schools are that much easier if you choose to challenge yourself. Anyway, I digress.

I was thinking back to freshman year, and if I were to write a letter to myself as an entering freshman what I would say. So consider this my advice to any entering college/my manifesto of sorts on how amazing the U of A has been. :)

Congrats! You've made it through high school. You think the hard part is over? Think again. But before you start stressing out, take a deep breath and smile because you're about to experience the best/hardest/most challenging yet rewarding four years of your life! Alright.

First of all, kudos on choosing the U of A. Yes, you could've gone out of state, you could've gone to a private school, or you could've gone to one of the other public schools in Arkansas. I don't think that you realize how much better off you are for choosing to make your home in Northwest Arkansas, though. We are THE state school. We are the one and ONLY Razorback. We have pride in our school, in our sports (sometimes...) and in our institution. I, who never wanted to be a Razorback in my life, am now a proud fan and alumni. I, who hated Arkansas with all I had in me, now vehemently hate all schools that aren't Arkansas in the SEC. I, who said Razorbacks were lame, am currently wearing a Razorback shirt with pride. The moral of this is never say never, because literally what I said "never" to turned out to be the best decision I made. 

Besides the pride of being a Razorback, this school has so much to offer. There are organizations out there like CRU where you can enter in as a scared freshman and leave a senior with the wonderful blessing of being able to lead a bible study, disciple girls, and be an involved leader around campus, seeing people come to Christ day after day. You can become an RA and impact the lives of freshman- encourage them that their place is here if they only look, and college isn't as hard as they think it is. You could be a student ambassador and tell people the history of your campus and show off the beauty that is Fayetteville in the Spring and Fall.  You could join a Greek organization or you could join the Dr. Pepper club. You can do ANYTHING! Take a chance, take a step out and discover your niche. God has one for you, and if one thing doesn't work out, try again. I wouldn't have found my place if I hadn't tried a few things first.

Friendships. They'll change your life. Choose wisely, because the friends you pick will determine who you will end up being. Surround yourself with those people who will encourage your walk with God and point you to him daily. I was blessed to find some forever friends and I couldn't be more blessed. Yes, there's been rough times. Friendships are work- and sometimes you treat your friends like crap and they treat you like crap. They disappoint because they're people too- but hey. You always have your family and Christ and your friends will always come back to you.

Invest your time. Don't waste a minute. From nights spent on Mt. Sequoyah, endless nights eating popcorn and just watching movies, camping adventures, mini roadtrips to Devil's Den late at night, to running half marathons, football games, eating your way across Fayetteville's fine restaurants, studying abroad (best four months EVER), and "hanging" around Fayetteville in a hammock, there should never be a "boring" night. College and each day is what you make it and there is SO much joy to be found in the ordinary of a quiet night or beautiful day. Seriously though, don't waste a second because it flies by. 

Lastly, pay attention in class. Your professors will help you if you let them. They'll connect you to jobs, to your passions, and they'll help you figure out what you want to do with your life. They'll challenge you and push you in ways you didn't know you could handle and you'll make it out thankful for every tear or frustrated text to your mom you ever sent. Professors and classes aren't actually that bad and you might be surprised the kinds of things you'll learn!

Enjoy your four years, it flies by entirely too fast. Next thing you know you're sitting crying at your computer because you've started to realize that this is truly the end of something great and life will never be the same again. Cherish it. Cherish the people and the moments, both big and small. They are the things that string together to make college so magical and life truly sweet. I can't even begin to express all that I've learned and all that I've experienced. Thank you, U of A. I can't believe I get to be a Razorback alumni for the rest of my life.

Jackie