Erin's Reflections

So since I once again have failed at writing anything awe inspiring, I'll simply let my sister have the floor and share a piece of her incredible wisdom. Sit back and enjoy her thoughts on leaving her job and starting a new chapter! I also thought you all would enjoy this lovely picture of the two of us. Aren't we precious?

Thoughts on my first job.

This week I say goodbye to a place that I’ve spent 40 hours a week at for 2 ½ years.  As I accepted the diploma from President Pollard in 2012 I never anticipated that I would be working for Dallas Seminary right out of school. I had dreams. Goals. Hopes. Fears. None of them consisted of working in the admissions office at a seminary. Two months into my job search I decided to give DTS a shot. An application could not hurt anything. An application turned into an interview that turned into another interview that turned into my first job offer. Before I knew it I was starting my first day. I was pretty scared. I did not know what to expect. Would someone even know I was coming in? Would I fit in? That first day was confirmation that I would love the people I worked with. Thank goodness since I spend the majority of my life with them. Throughout my years here people have come in and out, but the consistent thing was that they were all positive. They loved me well and exuded Jesus’ love. They were patient as I learned how to deal with people in a professional way, as I fumbled through my first phone calls, as I struggled to write emails that communicated effectively. While there have been many days that I have wished I had another job, one where I could work with an organization that aligns with my passions, I have never wished to be out of this environment. What other place of employment has a boss that brings bagels every Friday just because he wants to?  Or greets employees with hugs because he cares about them so much? At DTS I was able to be myself, and to use my gifts. I found freedom to grow and make decisions, and become more assertive and confident.

I am so excited to begin to do what I hope to spend the rest of my life doing, but it’s bittersweet as I think about leaving this place that I have grown to consider a place of comfort and home. I have NO DOUBT that the Lord has used this season in my life to teach me lessons, even those I hated learning. It will be hard to say goodbye, but I’m glad for that. That means that I made the most out of my time here. Goodbye DTS. I will *reluctantly* miss you.

When does it hurt? All the time.

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." 

-Albert Einstein 

The title of this post is dedicated to my physical therapy sessions. Every time I walk in and they start working on my rib, they ask me if it hurts. Basically there are two times when it doesn't hurt. When I'm sleeping and if I sit very still. Every other time? Hurts like heck. 

What did I do, you might ask? I think we can throw this all the way back to December, 2013 when I thought it would be a brilliant idea to use a kayak as a sled and took out a mailbox. My PT says I probably fractured my rib, and since I waited 11 months to do anything about fixing it and putting it back in place? I'm in for a long and painful journey towards pain-free living. Bring it on though, I've lived with pain for 11 months, I can do it longer. Besides my rib though, I also have knee pain, probably caused by some patella pain syndrome. (It's over my head and sounds painful when you read about it.) Can I get any more pitiful? I guess when I had that thought,  I thought it too soon because I woke up yesterday feeling like a semi truck had taken me out in the middle of the night. Honestly, the sore throat, aches and headache were a lovely addition to my Sunday/Monday... Syke.

I'm too young to fall apart. Right? I agree.

If I'm being completely honest here, I've had a heck of a time throwing myself a pity party. I feel like now that the PT and doctors agree something is wrong, I have license to complain. Woe is me, I'm the only person in pain in the world. Super dramatic stuff, ya know? It's all I talk about. I like to point out this pain and remind people to pity me, or something. Like I'm courageous in some way for living this long with it. Well, that's ridiculous and I need an attitude adjustment, clearly. I'm dumb for having let it sit this long and not going in earlier. It's called being stubborn, and I'm the queen of stubbornness.

I've been convicted though recently about it. I was reading in Hosea 2:15, where it says, "And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope." Upon first glance that doesn't really make sense. But once you realize that "Achor" actually translates to "trouble" it starts to fall into place. "I will make the Valley of trouble a door of hope."

Paul, back in the day, was a given a "thorn" in his flesh. While I don't want to put my rib pain on the same level as a messenger from Satan sent to harass Paul, I do think I can draw a few parallels. In this world there will be troubles. There will be hard things, painful things, and disappointing things. We all have something we're struggling through. Whether that's physical ailments, work or school troubles, discontentment with life and it's circumstances, the places where we find ourselves, family issues, etc, whatever one or combination of those things are, we all have something. And to the person who thinks life is peachy and there's nothing wrong, I envy you. (Side note: I'm not being dramatic, in John 16:33 Christ says, "In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." That doesn't mean every second of every day you will have it, yes, but it does say sometime, it will come. But there is hope. Praise the Lord.)

I don't believe that those troubles are necessarily all bad. When I grow most is when I'm being challenged and need to adapt. When I'm being stretched and poked to change. My rib won't get better unless it's prodded and poked back in its place. Not an easy or painless process, but oh so necessary to right the wrong in my body. Same in our lives. Often time God will poke us and prod us back into place. Not the same place, but a healthier place than where we were before. He takes our spiritual "rib," shoves it back in place, and then strengthens us through that in order to maintain the change he's brought in our lives. That is why a valley of trouble, opens a door of hope. Same can be said of my time in Little Rock. It's not my ideal, or where I want to be, but despite this "trouble" he is leading me to a door of "hope" if only I choose to let it grow me and change me into a better person. 

Take heart dear brother and sister in whatever you're going through and be comforted by the words of Paul.

"A torn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

 - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Until next time,

Jackie

P.S. This picture was from hiking with my brother and sister in law on Saturday. So pretty and kind of what I imagine walking out of a valley of trouble through a door of hope into the shining sun looks like.