For Tony

I'm taking a break from keeping you all updated about my study abroad adventures to dedicate a post to a friend who I miss terribly.

I recently had a friend pass away, and it really shook me. I've had people close to me die, but never a friend who I knew so well. Tony was like a brother to me. He was always there for me and even when we split ways going to college we managed to stay in touch. He was, and is, one of my best friends. I had written this a few weeks ago but just couldn't bring myself to post it until today. Actually, I was reading in my quiet time today and a verse really hit me. 1 Corinthians 3:6-7 "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." That probably makes no sense to you, but I've been struggling for a long time with a guilt that I never knew 100% that Tony was a Christian. After reading that, I felt God say "You did what I called you to do. You loved him, you prayed for him, and I took care of the rest." So here's some reflections I had when I was thinking about Tony.

(Tony and I at prom 2009)

I still remember the first time I met you. I was just a little freshman at Parkview, and I had no idea why this weird Asian kid wanted to know who I was and be my friend. Holly and Jasmine convinced me you were a great guy and that I should get to know you, so I did. Soccer practices, games, bus rides and memories filled freshman and sophomore year. I wish you had taught me how to do that flip throw-in, although you always joked I'd probably break something trying. You were right. 

I remember when you got elbowed during a game and you had a scar by your eye after that. You were so accident prone. You hurt your ankle and I always told you to take care of yourself... you didn't listen to me. Instead you just had your little gangster walk to compensate. It always made me laugh. :) I remember how supportive you were of the girls soccer team, and most of all how supportive you were of me. You were Coach Berjot's monitor but if you showed up, all you did was sit and joke around and talk to me. I still don't know how you managed to pass high school when you missed school so much. You always said it was because you were Asian. I think you're right. 

You knew how to have fun Tony, you were always laughing, joking around, always having fun, and always around for me. You had the security guard open my locker to leave me a teddy bear and chocolate for Valentines day. I'm sorry I was so freaked out by that. In my defense, I thought I was getting suspended that day. :) You would drop anything for me. Even in the middle of getting your window fixed after your car was broken into you left the body shop to come help me fix the SUV when it wouldn't run. You helped me fix my Camry after my wreck- you even paid for the parts and helped put them on my car. You were a friend through everything. 

You asked me to prom over text, and I told you to ask me in person. In English the next day you said "Jackie, are you gonna go with me?" I said, "Go with you where?" And you said "My senior prom. This is me asking you." Of course I said yes. I was so excited to be going to prom with you. You wrecked your car on the way home from the state soccer tournament on prom day, and even with a totaled car, you managed to have fun. You even fit a whole meatball from Macaroni grill in your mouth... talent. You also managed to wreck your car on your way to the new Twilight movie with me and Brianna. But you still came, paid for our tickets and got us popcorn and even though we had to sit on the floor that's a memory I'll always hold onto.

You came and had dinner with my family, you went to coffee with my dad, we walked across the bridge together and we just sat and talked for hours. You came to visit me at Maggie Moo's, even though it was all the way across town. You always made me laugh. You also always kept me worried about what new crazy thing you were gonna do. I still wish I could've learned how to drive a standard from you. You always made fun of how nerdy I was. But you always told me to keep going and that you were proud of me. You told me how excited you were for me to go to France and told me to take you with me. You'll always be with me Tony.

I miss your laugh. Your crazy stories about old women in your cell store. Your gangster walk. Your Asian jokes. Your company. Our easy friendship. You were like my brother Tony, and I love you/ I miss you and I can't believe you're gone. I can't believe that the Tonester isn't in my life anymore. You said when you see a jack-in-the-box you think of me. When I look around me, there's always something that reminds me of you. I miss you, and I love you friend.